Posted by: zhak39 | April 12, 2010

Sometimes (I Wish) – City And Colour

City and Colour….Sometimes (I wish)How about it, Charles? Music Fest, August 2010

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  1. He used to seek me out, reach up to take my hand, drag me, my arm a leash, to a clump of grass, a tree, rotten log and in that silver bell burbly stream little boy voice say ‘look, look, look, a bug (snake, turtle). He used to bring me rocks and things, shiny, sharp, stinky, pretty. He used to get bent out of shape and mad then sad then angry then resigned and in the end he would find something to share, an offering, a minute together, his soft cheek under my chin and we would have a peaceful moment and everything would be all right.

    Now he looms over me while I’m checking my e-mail, reaches his long arms down to the keyboard. His soft beard near my cheek startles but not as much as the deep stranger’s voice. That voice that has smoothed out, quieted but taken on a different kind of insistence, a muted and compelling authority. “Check this out,” a statement, a command.

    Last night he referred me to City and Colour, a side project for Dallas Green from Alexisonfire, a very successful post-hardcore kind of screamo band. He said that he thought this would be a great song for Charles to play. Then he told me how once his band is settled he’d really like to do more indie-folky melodic stuff with his friend Justin. He pulled out one of the many guitars that have appeared in his room over the last couple months, tried to strum and pick out some ditty he’d watch Justin play over the weekend when they were camping in someone’s backyard. Look, look, look.

    We had had a conversation earlier, about a cell phone and chores (which you just do) and tasks (which you might get a little cash for) and leaving school early Friday to hop a bus to Appalachian State for the weekend. He had to wait for Steven to get home because I have been trying to make sure that his dad is integrated in these conversations, in the loop, informed, his voice heard. Both of them became frustrated with me, I am so like my father sometimes. I remember listening to him go on, not trying to make a point but trying to lead me to the point so that I could learn the process of making informed decisions. I gave dad no support, no clue that I got it, that I had been with him from the first sentence, his efforts to clarify, simplify were nullified by a purposefully blank look and big blue eyes. “You got it?” he’d say. “The horse is dead,” I’d reply. “Why are you still beating it?”

    So as I am trying to lead Chris to a conclusion and I know he is getting it Steven just stood up and walked out of the room. He had more important things to do. I told him we weren’t done yet, one sentence condemning me in their eyes, unreasonable harridan. I said that all of us had to be clear about what we had resolved so there would be no question later and there were two pairs of eyes on me and the whiff of corpse.

    “Aren’t you done yet?” he said. And I was knocked off my stride. The conversation was closed. Chris went to his room. I had chores (which you definitely don’t get paid for) to do.

    I heard the hum of the weed whacker or a trimmer or some noisy thing so I didn’t bother to get Steven for dinner. I put food on the counter in the kitchen and said ‘whoever wants, whatever.’ I went to check my e-mail. After awhile Chris came to the table. “This smells really good. This is really good.” I might have smiled. He ate, cleared the dishwasher and put his dinner dishes in it (because you just do). Then he came up behind me, leaned his arm over, put his cheek near mine. “Check this out,” he said typing ‘city and colour’ in the YouTube search box. And he gave this to me, just this really simple sweet peaceful moment.

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