Posted by: zhak39 | March 2, 2010

Beekeeping Certification Test

So Sam and I finished our beekeeping course.  The last night, Thursday, was the certification test.  Two weeks into the course Sam had asked me, “Mom, if I fail the test can I still help you with the bees?”  I had to get one thing straight, he was coming from such the wrong perspective.  “Honey, I’m counting on you to pass the test.”

Right up front, I did not put a whole lot of effort in this course.  I showed up for every class, took notes then didn’t look at them again.  Sam gave me the book the day before the test although I should have asked him for it weeks before.  For some reason the e-mail with a link to a study guide didn’t get to me.  I knew it but dragged my feet about straightening it out, never contacted the president of the beekeepers to get the link.  Who has the time?  Besides, it was just a multiple choice thing and the state wants more beekeepers.  How hard could it be?

So when Sam and I sat next to each other with pages and pages of multiple choice questions I figured it would be a ten minute thing.  I was always good at testing.

If I only answered the ones that I absolutely knew it would have taken about 10 seconds.  The other 90 or so questions?  Oh boy.

So we’re in the car on the way home and Sam is going over the few questions that he wasn’t sure about.  The one chemical approved to treat Varoa?  Um.  Hmm.  Can’t remember what I put for that.

“How about the question about pests in southeast North Carolina?  Do you remember that one?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah.  That was what is the biggest pest to hives in southeast North Carolina.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure if it was mice or rats.”

“Uh oh.”

“Uh, mom.  What do you mean uh oh?”

I have no words.

“Oh, mom.  You didn’t.”

I’m starting to tear up, laughing and trying to drive.

“Well honey the choices were rats, mice, deer and bears.  Which one of those is the biggest?”

Now he’s speechless.   He has no answer.

“I mean, honey, they didn’t say the most prevalent.  They said which is the biggest.”

A mile passes, I feel him trying not to laugh out loud.  Finally, he takes a deep breath, lets it go.

“Mom, normally I wouldn’t say this but, well, mom, you know, you’re such a blonde.”


  1. Gasp!

    You mean . . . you have to STUDY to get good grades!

    My entire concept of the world has the potential of completely changing. I just — and I need your assurance on these two critical points — know that I can hold on if . . .

    1. All roads really DO lead to the Billeci farmhouse in Millbrook; AND

    2. That my main man, Dan, NEVER swims without his trunks.

    (Otherwise, the world is off its axis and we’re heading to the sun before week’s end)

  2. Either you’re close enough for government work or you might want to invest in sunblock.

  3. Well Im taking it you did not pass?

  4. Actually I did pass so either I am really an intuitive test taker or the standards are real, real low.

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