Posted by: zhak39 | October 4, 2008

Married to Joe Six-pack

There has been a spike in interest in Joe Six-pack since the vice presidential debate the other night. Who is this elusive voter and where has he been? What does he do and what does he believe? Does he actually exist or is he a political caricature?

Mystery solved, he does exist. A, um, good friend of mine is married to him.

Joe Six-pack is a blue collar worker. He has a high school education. He is of average or above average intelligence. His job is physically demanding. This is important to him as he believes that working hard is essential to being a man. He believes that his type of work is more demanding than sedentary jobs and that it should be compensated to a greater degree. He has traditional values and believes in the separate gifts and duties based on gender. He believes that the United States of America is the best country on earth. He believes that men should serve, whether in the military, a local fire station or other protective endeavor. He believes that loyalty and hard work should be amply rewarded.

Joe goes to work every day and comes home to his family at night. He does not carouse. He does not hang out at bars. He does not break the law. He drives a Ford truck. He doesn’t trust the government.  He votes.

Although he is a registered Republican he is not keen on McCain. Several weeks ago McCain uttered the fatal words “trickle down.” At one time Joe believed in Reagan’s trickle down theory. He waited for years for something to trickle down. He finally realized the reality of this ideology. As he tells his co-workers, “the only thing that trickles down is yellow, begins with p and rhymes with kiss.”

Sarah Palin believes that she represents Joe Six-Pack. She will have to do it without his support. He will never vote for her ticket. It is not about her personality. It is not about her experience. It is not about her performance at the debate since he fell asleep in his chair before the end of the first hour. He posed the question some days after her nomination, “do we really want a 40 something year old woman one heartbeat away from the presidency?” He does not.

Incidentally, my ‘friend’ is not Suzy Soccer-mom (we’re not big on hockey ’round here). I met Suzy several years ago. My youngest son wanted to play in a local league so I dutifully drove him to practice and games. During one particularly grueling match the coach’s wife questioned the official’s grasp of the rulebook. Loudly. Profanely. I pulled my son Sam off the field just before the pastor’s wife put an end to the lady’s litany with a swat to the head. I was quite surprised at Suzy’s out of character language. Suzy had spoken to me once before when we were picking up our children at school. She leaned over to me and said, “see her over there? If that b-word thinks she can take over my PTA committee, I’m going to kick her a-word.” (It’s a local dialect, prig latin). Anyway, it was out of character and that evening Suzy called me to apologize. Her husband, my son’s coach was concerned over losing Sam from the team.

“My prozac prescription ran out,” she explained. “And the xanax my sister gave me did something funny with the diet pills I got from my neighbor.”

I am not sure if the Joes or the Suzies will vote this year. It will be a tough call for both of them.


  1. Great story!

  2. The first Jury Trial I won involved a breach of contract. I think I had asked the Jury for $7,000.00 in damages. They awarded closer to $10,000.00.

    After their decision was in, the Judge asked the foreman how the amount was reached. The foreman said the Jury had focused on some obscure statement made by someone and somehow determined my client should get more than what she’d asked for.

    Since it was within the range of reasonableness, my client received the higher amount. She won, even if the Jury did not understand her case, or her basis for damages.

    My point?

    Sometimes we reach the right result for the wrong reasons. So long as Joe Six-Pack votes against his party in a couple of weeks, I cannot hold it against him that he holds an opinion about the abilities of 40-something women that differs from mine.

    Let’s just make sure that this, uhh, “friend” of yours gets him out to vote on election day.

  3. P.S.:

    Has anyone actually seen Sarah Palin and Tina Fey in the same room at the same time?

    Because I saw the debate last week and I saw the YouTube for last night’s Saturday Night Live. Both sounded nearly the same, both contained comments from “Ms. Palin” that were ponderous and both left me with my mouth open, jaw dropped, thinking, “My parents were right! The education system in this country really has gone to Hell!”

  4. My friend is so accustomed to canceling out her husband’s ballot she doesn’t quite know what to do with herself this year.

  5. Zhak: I thought of you when I read this a couple of days ago. Hopefully the hyperlink works:

  6. Sorry for the delay, Bill. Your comment was delegated to my spam queue.

    Thanks for the article. Simple, direct, straightforward. I don’t understand why so many vocal people in our country have decided that our governing should be handled by regular folksy-folks or that someone would base their vote on the person they would most want to have a beer with. This is very strange to me.

    Sarah Palin was recently at a rally at a private university near here. A local reporter covered the event. He approached one of the handful of Obama supporters to ask a couple of questions. A McCain-Palin supporter approached him aggressively claiming that to interview Obama supporters demonstrated the liberal slant of the media. Then he kicked the reporter in the back of the knee and stomped him.

    How has our political system been reduced to such barbarousness?

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