Posted by: zhak39 | June 28, 2008

Over a Barrel

Chris never loses his sense of humor. On the way to the doctor’s office before his diagnosis we were talking about what could be going on with his insides. He had had no fever, no interruption of his digestive functions, no sharp or extended pain. The cramping had not been localized until the day before. I thought hernia? Kidney stone?

“Appendicitis,” Chris insisted.

“Pulled muscle?” I countered.

“Mom, I bet you a milkshake it’s appendicitis.”

Eleven hours later as he was coming out of surgery after quite convincingly proving his point, Chris had one comment.

“Mom, you owe me a milkshake.”

“Chris, when you feel better I will give you a barrel of milkshakes.”

Anybody have an idea of how many milkshakes in a barrel? Forty-eight? Sixty?

One hundred and twenty-eight.

Given that milkshakes are going to be part of our daily menu for quite some time, I decided to teach Chris how to make his own.

  1. Make sure the rubber ring on the blender is between the metal blade and the glass.
  2. For every three scoops of ice cream put in about 1 cup of milk.
  3. Squirt in as much syrup as you want.
  4. Turn the blender on liquefy.

Of course, this doesn’t work. The blender squeals like an indignant pig. The ice cream floats like a lump.

“Shake the blender.”

“What?” he asks.

“Turn it off and shake it.”

“This is not going to work.” He gives it a delicate little wiggle and turns it back on. It squeals some more.

“Like this, sweetie.” I grab the blender with both hands and give it a vigorous shake. The air bubble around the blades rises with a satisfying ‘glurp.’ Chris’ eyebrows raise.

“See, it’s just like burping a baby,” I say as I turn the blender back on.

“Mom, if I have kids remind me to never hand them to you after they eat.”

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